Rejection hurts.
It’s in our wiring.
And yet, today’s podcast guest, Colette Fehr, a licensed marriage and family therapist and mental health counselor, didn’t let it stop her.
When we first spoke, she shared the raw truth:
“I never heard anything back from anyone except one. And I didn't hear back until I'd already applied to the seventh. And that's when I got the TEDx talk.”
Fast-forward to today—Colette just gave her first TEDx talk, and while the moment was meaningful, it also didn’t go the way she imagined.
What Actually Happened Onstage
Here’s how Colette from
put it:“I gave my first TEDx talk last week.
Nothing could have prepared me for what happened next:
mic didn’t work
slide clicker wasn’t turned on 😡
a staff member started clicking through my slides at the wrong times
Skipping over key things.
I was rattled.
It felt like my moment had been taken from me.”
That red dot moment—the one she had worked for, visualized, manifested—it got messy. But then came the lesson:
“The show must go on.
Flexibility is everything.
I can always make it through. ☀️”
🎙️If you say, “Kristina, let me listen to the show!”🎙️
Now you have the chance to listen to the interview or continue reading, if you prefer this.
You can listen to it as Substack podcast or on Spotify.
Enjoy the show!
Why Her TEDx Talk Mattered So Much
Colette didn’t stumble into this opportunity. She set a clear goal in 2024:
“Book a TEDx talk by December 31st.”
After six rejections, she started to worry it wouldn’t happen. But then:
“On December 20th—just before the deadline—I got the yes.
Not because I’m the smartest or the most accomplished.
But because I refused to stop trying.”
That moment wasn’t just about standing onstage. It was about sharing something deeper:
“This moment isn’t just about checking off a goal.
It’s about sharing something bigger, something that I hope will help others navigate their relationships with more clarity, confidence, and depth.”
Because for Colette, it all comes back to what matters most:
“At the end of the day, our relationships are everything. Not just the romantic ones, but our friendships, family bonds, and the people who make our lives meaningful.”
Fear Moved With Her
Her message is one we all need to hear:
You don’t have to feel brave. You just have to be willing.
That quote from her TEDx talk cuts straight to the heart. Colette explains how fear didn’t stop her—it moved with her:
"Be afraid. You can't stop your feelings anyway, but go for it and let the fear kind of just move with you as you pursue your goals."
She didn’t wait to feel fearless—she took action in the presence of fear, not the absence of it.
Chapeau, Colette! You’re an inspiration.
But of course, there’s more than “just” the TEDx talk as a reason to showcase Colette in this week’s podcast.
Yes, standing on that red dot is a milestone—but it’s just one piece of a much bigger picture. Colette is also about to publish her first book with Penguin Random House, The Cost of Quiet (yes, a Big Five deal!), after six years of sitting with chapter zero.
And she’s now stepping into the TV world, bringing her message of emotional connection to an even wider audience (thanks to manifesting the **** out of it).
So I asked today’s podcast guest:
If you had to distill the core message behind all three into one sentence, what would it be?
Here’s what she told me:
“You can make anything you want happen.”
When I asked how that quote has shaped her life, she told me this:
“When I was younger, I was really afraid to step into discomfort. Anything I didn’t already feel good at, I avoided—because I thought I’d embarrass myself. I saw talent as fixed, instead of something you can grow. But over time, as a therapist and just as a human doing the work, I learned that anyone can do anything if they’re willing to persevere.”
That mindset shift—from what am I good at? to what lights me up?—changed everything.
And her journey is living proof.
On Paper Colette Had A Great Life
But what I know about Colette, and what makes all of this even more powerful, is how deeply she’s shared about her first marriage. Because while the TEDx stage, the book deal, and the TV future all look amazing from the outside—her story didn’t start there.
It started in a place that looked perfect on the outside... but felt lonely on the inside.
“I got married very young. We met in college. We grew up together. And on paper, we had a great life—two beautiful daughters, wonderful friends, a lot of fun. But I started to feel a void. Emotionally, I felt very alone. I didn’t yet have the language for it. I didn’t know about attachment science or that we’re wired to bond as humans. When I did try to share what I felt, it didn’t land—and eventually, everything fell apart. I got divorced.”
Her Divorce Became A Turning Point
And yet, like many painful things, that divorce became a turning point.
A renaissance, as Colette calls it.
“It led me back to myself. I became a therapist because of that divorce. And now, helping others with their relationships—whether that means staying or letting go—that’s my mission.”
She believes not every relationship is meant to last. But every person is meant to discover themselves deeply. Because it’s through that inner knowing that we truly connect with others.
“And that,” she says, “makes for a happy life.”
Rejection Isn’t A STOP Sign
Colette’s journey is a powerful reminder that rejection isn’t a stop sign. It’s a signal that something even better might be around the corner—if you keep going.
🎙️ Listen to the full episode for:
Why “willingness” matters more than confidence
How Colette turned divorce into a new life mission
The behind-the-scenes chaos of her TEDx talk—and what she learned from it
And the unexpected moment that made her pitch her first TV idea at a sushi bar
So if you’re out there wondering if the door will ever open for you…
Remember this: the ones who get the “yes” are often the ones who just kept knocking.
🎙️If you say, “Kristina, let me listen to the show!”🎙️
Now you have the chance to listen to the interview or continue reading, if you prefer this.
You can listen to it as Substack podcast or on Spotify.
Enjoy the show!
If you’re listening via Spotify it would be awesome to get a review from you ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐. You can really make a different with this small gesture. Thanks 🙏🏻
You can also watch the video!
Want To Meet Colette In Our Masterclass?
Colette is sharing everything she learned from her TEDx experience in a live masterclass inside the Online Writing Club—from pitching and publishing to stepping onto that stage and owning your message.
✨ Join the Club today to meet her live in May and connect with a community of 350 members who get you.
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📌Your Turn!
What’s one thing you’ve been willing to do lately—even if it scared you?
Have you ever had a moment where everything went wrong, but you kept going anyway?
What’s your version of “stepping onto the red dot”? That big, slightly terrifying goal you can’t stop thinking about?
Hit reply—I read every message. Colette loves to connect with you, too!
🙏🏻Your feedback is just a spark but enough to keep me going so it would be wonderful to hear from you in the comments 🙏🏻🙏🏻
PS Tell us in the comments! This is a safe space. You can also meet us in the Chat.👈🏻
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