Shoot! How To Swear Like a Motherf*cker When Writing Online
The unwritten rules for writing profanely with pro writer and Medium guru Robin Wilding.
There are only 10 days left till the year 2024 begins!
I bet one of your goals for 2024 is… to become a BETTER writer.
But what does “better” even mean?
I think “better” means different things to different people.
However, all aspiring online authors have one thing in common as 2023 draws to a close: they are seizing the opportunity to thoroughly reflect on their writing style in 2023.
A few months back, I read an interesting article by
on Medium.She’s a professional writer editor and boost nominator on Medium. One of her hilarious stories made me think about my behavior regarding cursing in writing.
Yes, you heard that right.
Cursing.
It was about 1 a.m.
I should have been sleeping.... but I had just started nursing my baby again (Robin calls my sweet little princess "vampire baby" because she has a reverse sleep schedule; she sleeps during the day and is awake at night, lol) and decided to browse on Medium when I came across her article “How To Curse Like a Motherfucker In Writing — The unwritten (and possibly made-up) rules for writing profanely”.
As a new mom, I felt exhausted, but when I started reading her article, I laughed my a** off for 5 minutes.
I would have highlighted the whole piece because I liked it so "damn" much, but I couldn't because I was only holding my smartphone with one hand.
I am also guilty of using asterisks when quoting other curses and using swear word alternatives such as “Cheeses!” or “I don’t give a Donald Duck!”.
I don't think I could ever use it as cool as the woman who can bring anyone a good belly laugh, Robin.
My favorites are “shiznit” and “wankspangled cock toboggan”.
I use cursing very sparingly
My little brother and I were forbidden to swear at home (although my parents did when fighting before their divorce).
Also, with a newborn and a toddler in the house, I don't want to raise brats.... so I try to be a role model and not swear (when I'm in front of them), even if they have head lice at kindergarten and I have to comb it out of their hair.
Disgusting!
Side note: In general, dads seem more keen to teach their kids how to swear.
Like I said, I rarely swear. But when I do, people are shocked (maybe because I'm a woman and a mom...?! and I'm not supposed to swear).
If you don't swear often, you can apparently use swearing effectively because you drop a bomb.
It’s just that, a bomb.
Also, Robin recommends in her post:
“Don’t overdo the swearing (in writing); it is far more effective when used sparingly.”
If you curse in real life, write it
Authenticity is key, says Robin, which is a great point.
If you don’t curse in real life but want to try it writing — try it if you want to, but keep it in line with who you are.
You shouldn’t try to imitate other writers or authors.
Better try to write the same way you speak, such as potty mouth and bestselling author Mark Manson.
Honest.
Clear.
And with a lot of profanity.
I like Manson’s writing style which includes constant careful cursing.
The same applies to Robin Wildin's swearing writing style, because it is authentic.
Curse like you’ve done it before
I guess I’m best with only a rare swear here and there because it’s simply not the way I talk (in German).
However, Robin convinced me that you should lean toward the swearing style if you swear in real life.
Cursing can be incredibly effective when done naturally.
If I would start swearing it might be an impact killer and sound awkward.
If it comes naturally to you... why shouldn't you start swearing carefully in 2024?
Robin knows the unwritten rules when writing profanely
In our interview on YouTube, she shared:
“I’ve always kind of been a big fan of cursing in speech. I’ve never got to use that in writing because I can’t curse for clients. So when I came to meet Jason Provencio (on Medium) and he was cursing, I was like, fuck, we can curse on here.
And it was it from there. I just kind of went and ran with it because I’d never gotten to do that before, but I do it in real life. So it was authentic for me. And if it’s authentic for you, I’d say don’t hold back. Just don’t curse at people. You can curse at yourself. You can curse in humor.
You can curse in anger, but don’t, you know, don’t call somebody a fucking asshole 'cause that’s not great and don’t punch down when you do it. Some people may do it at Trump, but Trump’s obviously a lot bigger than they are, so that’s punching up, just never punched down, when you do it.”
I also learned from Robin that humorous cursing is less offensive and should be used as a spice.
Did this make you think about your behavior regarding cursing when writing?
A — You have a potty mouth in person, and curse often, freely, unapologetically but not in writing.
B — You’re guilty of using asterisks, and using “fudge” or “fracking” instead of “fucking.”
C — You love to hear a good “fudge” sometimes and would love to explore swearing for fun?
D — You never thought about swearing when writing and have no idea why.
If you are thoroughly rethinking your writing style for 2024, you should also reconsider your choice of (non)swearing.
Who knows, my style might change in the future, too, haha (only kidding).
Good night & watch my video :D
I'm going to go to bed now, at least for a few minutes, until my little girl wakes up with pee-pee in her pants and cries again... and I might think "what the fudge"....
I hope you can sleep well tonight and if not and you wake up in the middle of the night, you should “absofuckinglutely” watch my funny, hot, and new interview with Robin Wilding on my YouTube channel.
We’re not only talking about how to curse like a motherf*cker when writing but also about how to write in a conversational style and all things Medium.
P.S. I’d love it if you could give Robin some love in the comments on YouTube!
I don't have any hangups about swearing when I write. If it fits and feels appropriate I'll drop an f-bomb.
Occasionally I'll use punctuation like sh!t to get the point across. 😁
I do swear in everyday conversation so it feels natural to write it when the situation arises.
This is why one of my favorite Medium pieces is called “Motherfucker’s Day Has Come.” I had a fucking ball writing it!